We are T-11 days until the wedding. I have officially handed over the reigns to my mother. She is now the controller, and it feels... AWESOME. I am getting to the part of this process where I can let myself enjoy. I worked hard enough in the beginning so that I can feel like everything now will fall into place and if it doesn't, someone else can be in charge of fixing it! It's great.
Everything is done - Today I am going to Seattle Sun Tan to try out VersaSpa which is a fancy dancy sunless tanning system. On Saturday I am going to Lonestar Salon in Olympia to get a cut, color, and trial updo! That night Ian, the future in-laws, and I will be going to Ian's graduation Reverie dinner and the next day, Ian graduates from Seattle University!! I am so proud of him in every way. His ambition to succeed in whatever he does is one of the many things that made me fall in love with him.
My sister comes in on Wednesday, Ian's best man flies in Thursday, we go down to Olympia for the rehearsal and night-before festivities on Friday and then... WE GET MARRIED! Marriage license is set and the caterer has the guest count (right, mom?) and it is going to be a great party.
Now, let's back up to last weekend. My beautiful friend Lauren threw me a last-minute Bachelorette Party. And all I can say is.... Isn't it fun to sit together at Azteca a few days later, still hungover, piecing together the events of the night? I come away with a full Sunday of Sleep, a cigarette burn on my arm, sore calves from dancing in heels, and the knowledge that there ARE friends who show up and celebrate with me. Thanks, Ladies for a great night - I can barely remember it, but I'll never forget it.
Ian has a phone interview with Marquette on Wednesday! The job is Coordinator for Student Organizations and Leadership - something he would be SO GOOD at and would really enjoy. Milwaukee is far away, but I wouldn't mind living there. Please send your thoughts and prayers his way. We hope this is what God has in store for us.
I can rest easy knowing that, if Ian doesn't find something right away, at least I have a good job. Lately I have been more and more attached to my little ward. He just turned 3 and, at his birthday party, it felt good being a go-to adult for him. It's been a rough road and I can't say I love the hours, but this little kid is really fighting his way into my heart.
There is a big part of me that is actually sad that the wedding will soon be over. All this planning and waiting has given me something to look forward to. I hope I don't get back from Vegas and think "well, now what?" That's probably why I am hoping Ian gets a job out-of-state. So there will be an adventure and a new setting to look forward too right after the wedding. Change has never really scared me, it's something I am used to. I am more afraid of staying in one spot too long.
Thank you all for reading along with me, though it's been a sporadic blogging experience. I imagine the next time I write will be post-wedding and post-honeymoon. Pictures to come - get excited!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Dress Fitting and Honeymoon Booked!
Yesterday I went in for my dress fitting. Exactly as planned, there was no need for any alterations or hemming! I fit perfectly into the dress and I can breathe while I wear it. All I needed was a bustle and I was out of there! I felt really really good in my dress! I felt beautiful and tall and I have to admit that I admired my self for a while in the three-sided mirror. It feels so nice to finally feel good about my appearance.
At my final measure-in last Friday I found out that in 5 months of working out and dieting, I lost a total of 20.75 inches from my biceps, thighs, waist, hips, and bust, and 18 pounds on the scale. Looking in the mirror, I definitely see a woman I can be proud of. Though I didn't reach my goal of 30lbs- lost by wedding time, I am really excited about the progress I have made. I was thinking about trying to lose the last 12 pounds before the wedding - or as much of it as I can - but after my dress fitting that doesn't seem like a good idea. After the wedding, however, you can bet your ass I will continue in my weight-loss endeavors.
So I bought some weights and I will be doing Tae Bo and arm exercises to keep toning and maintaining.
Last week we booked our HONEYMOON TO LAS VEGAS!! We had looked into going to Cancun or Kauai, but when it comes down to it, Vegas is a lot of fun for not that much money. Plus we didn't want to waste any more time than we had to on a plane. So we are staying at Aria Resort and Casino which is Vegas' newest hotel. I must admit that I never imagined my honeymoon would be in Vegas of all places. But it is actually the perfect place for us to go. We only have 3 days, so the distance is perfect. We can go see a show like Cirque du Soleil. We can hang by the pool, go to the spa, eat at great restaurants, and hang out in an amazing hotel room! Plus, free drinks while we squander away our nickles at the slots. :)
So many things to be excited about! And the wedding is only 24 days away!!
At my final measure-in last Friday I found out that in 5 months of working out and dieting, I lost a total of 20.75 inches from my biceps, thighs, waist, hips, and bust, and 18 pounds on the scale. Looking in the mirror, I definitely see a woman I can be proud of. Though I didn't reach my goal of 30lbs- lost by wedding time, I am really excited about the progress I have made. I was thinking about trying to lose the last 12 pounds before the wedding - or as much of it as I can - but after my dress fitting that doesn't seem like a good idea. After the wedding, however, you can bet your ass I will continue in my weight-loss endeavors.
So I bought some weights and I will be doing Tae Bo and arm exercises to keep toning and maintaining.
Last week we booked our HONEYMOON TO LAS VEGAS!! We had looked into going to Cancun or Kauai, but when it comes down to it, Vegas is a lot of fun for not that much money. Plus we didn't want to waste any more time than we had to on a plane. So we are staying at Aria Resort and Casino which is Vegas' newest hotel. I must admit that I never imagined my honeymoon would be in Vegas of all places. But it is actually the perfect place for us to go. We only have 3 days, so the distance is perfect. We can go see a show like Cirque du Soleil. We can hang by the pool, go to the spa, eat at great restaurants, and hang out in an amazing hotel room! Plus, free drinks while we squander away our nickles at the slots. :)
So many things to be excited about! And the wedding is only 24 days away!!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Sorry, Folks!
My goodness, it has been a long time since I wrote anything... at all. No journaling, no blogging, barely any emailing... ok, I have been writing thank you notes like a crazy woman. But that hardly counts.
I think I have been ashamed to write that things on the weight-loss front have not been going so well. I have maintained about 169 pounds for the last 3 weeks. I haven't gained any which is awesome, but also means I haven't lost any. I have been working out 4 days a week, 45 minutes a day with my trainer - three days of running intervals around the neighborhood and one day of all weights. So it's not like I have been laying around the apartment. However, I am regressing when it comes to my diet. When I get stressed, I eat. And with ONE MONTH til the wedding, stress is running high.
This weekend I went over to Kennewick for a bridal shower thrown by a bunch of women at my mom's church. I didn't eat the cake at the shower (which my Safeway Bakery working sister tells me is 2000 calories a slice) but this weekend I did eat Lobster Pappardella, Cheeseburger Sliders, Pork Wanton Tacos, Artichoke Dip with Chips, Ahi Tuna, French Silk Pie, homemade Pizza, Blueberry Tom Collins, and a couple salads. The only thing remotely healthy about this list was the fat-free Italian dressing I had on both salads. Ok, the tuna was pretty healthy, too. But still. In general I have been taking weekends "off" and eating basically whatever I want within reason. But this weekend was a total splurge.
So my diet is the reason I haven't lost any more weight.
(To top it off, I am now sick! I didn't work out yesterday and won't again today because my head is blown up like a balloon with only a small leak through ONE of my nostrils. Let me tell you though, there is one item my sister gave me that I wish I had been using as a decongestant for every single cold in my past! I can actually sleep, breath, and stay sane now that I have found my new best friend, Nasal Spray.)
I have been getting a little more comfortable in my own skin I think. It gets to the point where it feels like living a normal life (which includes eating in restaurants, drinking occasionally, and not working out more than three days a week) means I will always be a little bit overweight. So I resign myself to accept. It feels pretty healthy to accept myself, but also feels like I am giving up.
Until I find an activity that I enjoy doing on a daily basis, and have less of an emotional attachment to food, I don't think I will have that athletic body I dream of. But I AM going to strive to reach those goals. Maybe just not in time for the wedding
WHICH IS ONE MONTH FROM TOMORROW! Holy cow - these last 7 months have gone by ridiculously fast.
I feel like there is a hidden list of things I have forgotten to do. But I don't think there is.
Right now we are in the process of booking a honeymoon. In the beginning we decided not to take a honeymoon in order to save money in case we have to move. But now we realize that we need a vacation!! We are thinking either Kauai, Hawaii or Cancun, Mexico....
Nothing new on Ian's job search. It's getting down to the wire, but I still have faith that something good is out there for us.
Now, sick at work, I am just trying to get through the day. Instead of working out or going back to bed once I get home, I get to take Lola SpecialDark to the vet. She has had nastiness coming out both ends since Thursday. It's lovely to wake up to. Poor baby!
Wish us sickies luck.
I think I have been ashamed to write that things on the weight-loss front have not been going so well. I have maintained about 169 pounds for the last 3 weeks. I haven't gained any which is awesome, but also means I haven't lost any. I have been working out 4 days a week, 45 minutes a day with my trainer - three days of running intervals around the neighborhood and one day of all weights. So it's not like I have been laying around the apartment. However, I am regressing when it comes to my diet. When I get stressed, I eat. And with ONE MONTH til the wedding, stress is running high.
This weekend I went over to Kennewick for a bridal shower thrown by a bunch of women at my mom's church. I didn't eat the cake at the shower (which my Safeway Bakery working sister tells me is 2000 calories a slice) but this weekend I did eat Lobster Pappardella, Cheeseburger Sliders, Pork Wanton Tacos, Artichoke Dip with Chips, Ahi Tuna, French Silk Pie, homemade Pizza, Blueberry Tom Collins, and a couple salads. The only thing remotely healthy about this list was the fat-free Italian dressing I had on both salads. Ok, the tuna was pretty healthy, too. But still. In general I have been taking weekends "off" and eating basically whatever I want within reason. But this weekend was a total splurge.
So my diet is the reason I haven't lost any more weight.
(To top it off, I am now sick! I didn't work out yesterday and won't again today because my head is blown up like a balloon with only a small leak through ONE of my nostrils. Let me tell you though, there is one item my sister gave me that I wish I had been using as a decongestant for every single cold in my past! I can actually sleep, breath, and stay sane now that I have found my new best friend, Nasal Spray.)
I have been getting a little more comfortable in my own skin I think. It gets to the point where it feels like living a normal life (which includes eating in restaurants, drinking occasionally, and not working out more than three days a week) means I will always be a little bit overweight. So I resign myself to accept. It feels pretty healthy to accept myself, but also feels like I am giving up.
Until I find an activity that I enjoy doing on a daily basis, and have less of an emotional attachment to food, I don't think I will have that athletic body I dream of. But I AM going to strive to reach those goals. Maybe just not in time for the wedding
WHICH IS ONE MONTH FROM TOMORROW! Holy cow - these last 7 months have gone by ridiculously fast.
I feel like there is a hidden list of things I have forgotten to do. But I don't think there is.
Right now we are in the process of booking a honeymoon. In the beginning we decided not to take a honeymoon in order to save money in case we have to move. But now we realize that we need a vacation!! We are thinking either Kauai, Hawaii or Cancun, Mexico....
Nothing new on Ian's job search. It's getting down to the wire, but I still have faith that something good is out there for us.
Now, sick at work, I am just trying to get through the day. Instead of working out or going back to bed once I get home, I get to take Lola SpecialDark to the vet. She has had nastiness coming out both ends since Thursday. It's lovely to wake up to. Poor baby!
Wish us sickies luck.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Hitting the Wall
When I feel the calling to write, I should seriously just obey it. Here I sit at Panera in Northgate, purposely early to meet a friend for lunch because yesterday and the day before I got the itch to write. But now, somehow, I am not quite in the mood. You could probably tell from my 3-week absence that I haven’t been “in the mood.” So when the feeling strikes, I must obey! What an idiot.
So here is what has been going on with me recently – and trust me there is a lot.
First I must report that in the last 3 weeks, I have only downsized by about 2 inches. Kind of disappointing after the last measure-in. But I was almost certain before the measuring that I had stayed the same, so 2 inches is a welcome change. I'm back in the 160's again also which is amazing!
Unfortunately, I have hit a wall a couple times in the last few weeks. The “I don’t give a shit” wall. The “I am fine the way I am; why should I change” wall. The “this is a waste of my free-time” wall. You get the idea. It really sucks. Let me tell you how it works. When I want to eat some really naughty foods like Easter candy or a cheeseburger or even a simple cup of chai, here is what goes through my head – what is the big deal? Am I going to deny myself something that I know will be delicious and nearly harmless just because I am getting married? My dress will still fit me if I have one piece of candy, one cheeseburger, one latte. If I completely deprive myself, it is unhealthy. Everything in moderation. So I indulge. The next week, I will go to the mall to try on Bridal Shower dresses, wiggle into a size 12, look in the mirror, and here is what goes through my head – I shouldn’t have had that candy, burger, latte. THIS is why I am putting myself through this. This feeling I get in these harsh fluorescents, in a dress that is supposed to make me feel beautiful, for an occasion I have been waiting for my whole life. (I can be a bit dramatic.) I could reach my goals if only I had some self-control! Damnit.
Enough of that. I am sure it’s nothing that any other average woman hasn’t gone through before! And that is what I am – an average woman. The average woman in America is a size 12. I am not grotesquely fat and I don’t have health risks because of my weight. So maybe I need to just get over it. But it’s just a see-saw for me. One minute I accept, the next I reject the way I am. I am not going to even try to explain it any further. Not worth it - I can't wrap my head around my issues.
Let’s move on to happier things.
On Saturday the 10th, I was completely surprised by a Bridal Shower thrown by basically all the women in Ian's family! It was so amazing and caught me completely off guard. I have never had a surprise party before. I got to meet most of the rest of Ian's family which was awesome because now I won't have to meet them for the first time at the wedding. Ian's mom drove all the way from Billings just to be there for the weekend, his sister Paige came from Spokane, his aunt came from Manson, and his cousin Meg came all the way from Georgia! (Ok she was in town anyway and that is why they planned the shower for that weekend, but still.) I got a bunch of gifts from our registry and we all ate cake and drank punch. I felt welcomed into the family and the fact that they all got together to celebrate meant a lot to me. I am joining such a caring and accepting family!!
A couple weekends ago we went to my parents house in Kennewick. We of course took Lola SpecialDark with us. She has such fun running in the backyard with my parent's dogs. They get sick of her pretty fast, but Lola just keeps bugging them. There is no off-switch.
While in Kennewick, we went wedding shopping and bought shoes for Danielle and I as well as Danielle's headpiece and Ian's beautiful white Alfani shirt. We decided to go with black suits instead of renting tuxedos for the guys, as it costs almost the same to buy a nice suit (on crazy sale at Macys) as it does to rent a tux at Men's Warehouse. Plus I think suits are so much sexier. And let's be honest - this is an outdoor garden wedding by the beach - no need to get super fancy. Suits are better and he gets to keep it after the wedding day!
The wedding music situation is kind of falling apart. It's starting to make me nervous as there is only 1 month, 3 weeks, and a few days til the wedding. I really don't want to play recorded music for the ceremony, but I still have my friend Matt on board to play the violin so maybe I can recruit some more musicians.
Ian didn't get the Ohio job. We were a bit bummed, but we know there is something better out there. We are trying to practice patience. It's tough. Ian had an interview last week with St. Martin's University in Lacey, Washington. It's a Resident Director position which isn't his first choice, but it's better than nothing. He has also applied for a job at University of San Francisco which looks promising. Ian's director at SU knows the director over in SF and has put in a good word. Cross your fingers.
This weekend, we will go to my grandparent's house to help rebuild the stairs that lead to the beach. All for the wedding. Sheesh.
The next weekend is the Bridal Shower my sister is throwing for me.
The next weekend is the Bridal Shower my mom's church is throwing for me.
Then my dress fitting on the 25th. Oh speaking of my dress, I tried it on. It's too big! Yay.
There are a few other things I could write about. But I won't. In general, it's business as usual around here. I am ready for some change in my life. I am ready to know what's next.
Thanks for listening.
So here is what has been going on with me recently – and trust me there is a lot.
First I must report that in the last 3 weeks, I have only downsized by about 2 inches. Kind of disappointing after the last measure-in. But I was almost certain before the measuring that I had stayed the same, so 2 inches is a welcome change. I'm back in the 160's again also which is amazing!
Unfortunately, I have hit a wall a couple times in the last few weeks. The “I don’t give a shit” wall. The “I am fine the way I am; why should I change” wall. The “this is a waste of my free-time” wall. You get the idea. It really sucks. Let me tell you how it works. When I want to eat some really naughty foods like Easter candy or a cheeseburger or even a simple cup of chai, here is what goes through my head – what is the big deal? Am I going to deny myself something that I know will be delicious and nearly harmless just because I am getting married? My dress will still fit me if I have one piece of candy, one cheeseburger, one latte. If I completely deprive myself, it is unhealthy. Everything in moderation. So I indulge. The next week, I will go to the mall to try on Bridal Shower dresses, wiggle into a size 12, look in the mirror, and here is what goes through my head – I shouldn’t have had that candy, burger, latte. THIS is why I am putting myself through this. This feeling I get in these harsh fluorescents, in a dress that is supposed to make me feel beautiful, for an occasion I have been waiting for my whole life. (I can be a bit dramatic.) I could reach my goals if only I had some self-control! Damnit.
Enough of that. I am sure it’s nothing that any other average woman hasn’t gone through before! And that is what I am – an average woman. The average woman in America is a size 12. I am not grotesquely fat and I don’t have health risks because of my weight. So maybe I need to just get over it. But it’s just a see-saw for me. One minute I accept, the next I reject the way I am. I am not going to even try to explain it any further. Not worth it - I can't wrap my head around my issues.
Let’s move on to happier things.
On Saturday the 10th, I was completely surprised by a Bridal Shower thrown by basically all the women in Ian's family! It was so amazing and caught me completely off guard. I have never had a surprise party before. I got to meet most of the rest of Ian's family which was awesome because now I won't have to meet them for the first time at the wedding. Ian's mom drove all the way from Billings just to be there for the weekend, his sister Paige came from Spokane, his aunt came from Manson, and his cousin Meg came all the way from Georgia! (Ok she was in town anyway and that is why they planned the shower for that weekend, but still.) I got a bunch of gifts from our registry and we all ate cake and drank punch. I felt welcomed into the family and the fact that they all got together to celebrate meant a lot to me. I am joining such a caring and accepting family!!
A couple weekends ago we went to my parents house in Kennewick. We of course took Lola SpecialDark with us. She has such fun running in the backyard with my parent's dogs. They get sick of her pretty fast, but Lola just keeps bugging them. There is no off-switch.
While in Kennewick, we went wedding shopping and bought shoes for Danielle and I as well as Danielle's headpiece and Ian's beautiful white Alfani shirt. We decided to go with black suits instead of renting tuxedos for the guys, as it costs almost the same to buy a nice suit (on crazy sale at Macys) as it does to rent a tux at Men's Warehouse. Plus I think suits are so much sexier. And let's be honest - this is an outdoor garden wedding by the beach - no need to get super fancy. Suits are better and he gets to keep it after the wedding day!
The wedding music situation is kind of falling apart. It's starting to make me nervous as there is only 1 month, 3 weeks, and a few days til the wedding. I really don't want to play recorded music for the ceremony, but I still have my friend Matt on board to play the violin so maybe I can recruit some more musicians.
Ian didn't get the Ohio job. We were a bit bummed, but we know there is something better out there. We are trying to practice patience. It's tough. Ian had an interview last week with St. Martin's University in Lacey, Washington. It's a Resident Director position which isn't his first choice, but it's better than nothing. He has also applied for a job at University of San Francisco which looks promising. Ian's director at SU knows the director over in SF and has put in a good word. Cross your fingers.
This weekend, we will go to my grandparent's house to help rebuild the stairs that lead to the beach. All for the wedding. Sheesh.
The next weekend is the Bridal Shower my sister is throwing for me.
The next weekend is the Bridal Shower my mom's church is throwing for me.
Then my dress fitting on the 25th. Oh speaking of my dress, I tried it on. It's too big! Yay.
There are a few other things I could write about. But I won't. In general, it's business as usual around here. I am ready for some change in my life. I am ready to know what's next.
Thanks for listening.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Engagement Pictures!
Well in case you are anxious to see some of the pictures, and haven't already looked at some on Blake's blog, here are some of my favorites from the engagement photoshoot with BlakeJames Photography!
It was a perfect day. Thanks, Blake! I am so excited about the Wedding Photos, I can hardly stand it!
Click on the photo to get a closer look.
It was a perfect day. Thanks, Blake! I am so excited about the Wedding Photos, I can hardly stand it!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Good News!
It was completely ridiculous to worry about the engagement shoot. So silly. It was actually a lot of fun and I never once felt fat, ugly, or uncomfortable! Blake let me see some of the good ones on the car ride to lunch, but I can't wait see all of the pictures. I will be sure to share some of them with you, my faithful readers.
I think that there was one specific thing that made me feel a little more confident about the shoot. On Friday, my trainer took my 6 week measurements. (She measures me every 3 weeks) In the last 3 weeks I have lost a total of 10 inches from my waist, bicep (right one), thigh (right one), hips, and chest! Even though the scale hasn't shown much of a change - 7lbs total - the measurements DO NOT LIE! Raise your glass to losing fat and gaining muscle!!
I was very pleased with the results and it definitely made me feel like all this hard work dieting and exercising wasn't for nothing. The next 3 weeks involve a lot of running and stairs so I look forward to seeing more positive results!
Yesterday, Ian and I went down to blustery Downtown Seattle to polish up our registry at Macy's. You know, registering is a blast. Ian's favorite part is shooting each item with the scanner. The lady helping us wasn't surprised that Ian wanted to be in charge of the scanner - I think it's pretty common that the groom wants to operate the gun.
All the invitations have been sent! We bought cheesy wedding stamps and I used a nib and drawing ink to write out 100 addresses. We have already received a few RSVPs. Hopefully the rest will pour in soon.
Now, if I could just find some damn wedding shoes. Suggestions?
In other news, Ian has a phone interview tomorrow for the Assistant Director of Residential Life position at Ohio Northern University in Ada, Ohio! Yes, Ohio. Not the ideal location, but it is a good job. It's nice to get a positive response on the job-front. So everyone send prayers, thoughts, good juju, positive vibes, and warm fuzzies to Ian and ONU tomorrow around 11am!
thanks for listening!
I think that there was one specific thing that made me feel a little more confident about the shoot. On Friday, my trainer took my 6 week measurements. (She measures me every 3 weeks) In the last 3 weeks I have lost a total of 10 inches from my waist, bicep (right one), thigh (right one), hips, and chest! Even though the scale hasn't shown much of a change - 7lbs total - the measurements DO NOT LIE! Raise your glass to losing fat and gaining muscle!!
I was very pleased with the results and it definitely made me feel like all this hard work dieting and exercising wasn't for nothing. The next 3 weeks involve a lot of running and stairs so I look forward to seeing more positive results!
Yesterday, Ian and I went down to blustery Downtown Seattle to polish up our registry at Macy's. You know, registering is a blast. Ian's favorite part is shooting each item with the scanner. The lady helping us wasn't surprised that Ian wanted to be in charge of the scanner - I think it's pretty common that the groom wants to operate the gun.
All the invitations have been sent! We bought cheesy wedding stamps and I used a nib and drawing ink to write out 100 addresses. We have already received a few RSVPs. Hopefully the rest will pour in soon.
Now, if I could just find some damn wedding shoes. Suggestions?
In other news, Ian has a phone interview tomorrow for the Assistant Director of Residential Life position at Ohio Northern University in Ada, Ohio! Yes, Ohio. Not the ideal location, but it is a good job. It's nice to get a positive response on the job-front. So everyone send prayers, thoughts, good juju, positive vibes, and warm fuzzies to Ian and ONU tomorrow around 11am!
thanks for listening!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Narcissistic Running and Photo Phobia
Yesterday my trainer and I ran down Madison Street and a bit around the Arboretum. Then we power-walked back up the hill. A bit more than three miles total. On Tuesday we did a two-mile run around Volunteer Park and the Asian Art Museum. On Monday we had a jaunt around Madison Park and ran stairs. It has been an intense week so far. Today is a day off from training, thank goodness! Friday we will do weights and core training.
I am finding more enjoyment from running with my trainer than I thought I would. It's like therapy - I chatter away about anything and time and miles slip by. For a bit it felt ridiculous to essentially be paying someone to run with me, but I realize that 1.) I wouldn't do it on my own and 2.) It's nice to blabber on and not worry about it. If I were doing the same with a friend, I would seem completely narcissistic. I am completely narcissistic on my runs. But that is because my training sessions are all about me. And that's okay! It doesn't hurt my trainer's feelings or anything because she is there for me. I am not going to lie, It's great.
In other news, the engagement photo shoot with BlakeJames Photography is this Saturday. I wasn't sure I even wanted to do engagement photos because the whole point of losing weight for the wedding (besides being healthier and more confident) is to look better in the pictures! Why would I want pictures of myself mid-goal?
But I can't pass up a great opportunity to work with Blake and replace the off-center, arm stretched out, point and click, framed photos of Ian and I with professional ones.
The plan is to go to our roof-top patio, Paramount Theater, Gas Works Park, and perhaps a walk around the neighborhood so we can include Lola SpecialDark Jamieson in the fun. It is supposed to be cloudy with a small chance of rain. It is too bad we couldn't do the shoot yesterday as it was a totally gorgeous day in Seattle.
I have to be honest with you, (isn't the the point of this blog?) I am really nervous about the shoot. I don't have many pictures of myself from the past 3 years because I have become camera shy. When I look in the mirror, or when I see my reflection walking by a window, I don't mind too much what I see. I am pretty good at focusing on the bits that I like and not on the parts I wish to change. I have been able to imagine myself the way I want to be instead of the way I am. But pictures don't lie. When I see pictures of myself, especially candid ones, it absolutely depresses me. I go through the whole self-loathing ordeal - Why did I let myself go? Maybe I should stop eating full-stop. How can Ian be attracted to me? And it goes on and on.
I am just being honest.
So my biggest fear about the engagement pictures is that I won't want to look at them.
Luckily, Blake makes me feel very comfortable and has assured me that the shoot will be fun and easy. Ian always makes me feel beautiful and I am excited to do "wedding stuff" with him.
So we have picked out the outfits, Ian got a haircut last week, and I am getting my nails done on Friday.
I will let you know how it goes and hopefully share some of the photos with you.
Thanks for listening.
I am finding more enjoyment from running with my trainer than I thought I would. It's like therapy - I chatter away about anything and time and miles slip by. For a bit it felt ridiculous to essentially be paying someone to run with me, but I realize that 1.) I wouldn't do it on my own and 2.) It's nice to blabber on and not worry about it. If I were doing the same with a friend, I would seem completely narcissistic. I am completely narcissistic on my runs. But that is because my training sessions are all about me. And that's okay! It doesn't hurt my trainer's feelings or anything because she is there for me. I am not going to lie, It's great.
In other news, the engagement photo shoot with BlakeJames Photography is this Saturday. I wasn't sure I even wanted to do engagement photos because the whole point of losing weight for the wedding (besides being healthier and more confident) is to look better in the pictures! Why would I want pictures of myself mid-goal?
But I can't pass up a great opportunity to work with Blake and replace the off-center, arm stretched out, point and click, framed photos of Ian and I with professional ones.
The plan is to go to our roof-top patio, Paramount Theater, Gas Works Park, and perhaps a walk around the neighborhood so we can include Lola SpecialDark Jamieson in the fun. It is supposed to be cloudy with a small chance of rain. It is too bad we couldn't do the shoot yesterday as it was a totally gorgeous day in Seattle.
I have to be honest with you, (isn't the the point of this blog?) I am really nervous about the shoot. I don't have many pictures of myself from the past 3 years because I have become camera shy. When I look in the mirror, or when I see my reflection walking by a window, I don't mind too much what I see. I am pretty good at focusing on the bits that I like and not on the parts I wish to change. I have been able to imagine myself the way I want to be instead of the way I am. But pictures don't lie. When I see pictures of myself, especially candid ones, it absolutely depresses me. I go through the whole self-loathing ordeal - Why did I let myself go? Maybe I should stop eating full-stop. How can Ian be attracted to me? And it goes on and on.
I am just being honest.
So my biggest fear about the engagement pictures is that I won't want to look at them.
Luckily, Blake makes me feel very comfortable and has assured me that the shoot will be fun and easy. Ian always makes me feel beautiful and I am excited to do "wedding stuff" with him.
So we have picked out the outfits, Ian got a haircut last week, and I am getting my nails done on Friday.
I will let you know how it goes and hopefully share some of the photos with you.
Thanks for listening.
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